Pushing Through the Pain

I hate how somedays I just feel deflated and defeated. I wake up and just ache from missing my husband. Most nights I dream about him at least once and when I wake to find that he isn't there, a pain sets in that can't be filled with anything but his actual presence. The little things are hardest to get through...taking the dog out, making breakfast, doing chores...the little things we alway did together seem to mock me and my heartache. I just feel empty and unmotivated and have no energy. I hate it. I don't want to feel that way, and I try so hard to push through the pain and to feel happy. Somedays I can...those are usually the days I am busy and have a lot to do...the days that are harder are the quiet days at home where I have a long list of things to do, but being there without my husband has turned into a torture chamber. Then all the doubts and worry about if and when I will be joining him and the unknowns about my job and our finances and everything just start creeping up and drain the little bit of life I have left for that day. I do what I can to push through the pain and to keep my head up...there's not much else I can do. Thankfully the littlest things help...a phone call, a Skype session, a text...just being in contact with him and he making the time to communicate with me helps immensely. Each day is one day closer and in the end knowing our love is strong and we are there for each other helps to ease the pain. I will be ok. I will stay strong and I will make it through this.